BATMAN: ARKHAM ASYLUM – “I wish I knew how to quit you.”

There’s no question in my mind, Batman is the greatest superhero of them all. “But, why?” you cry, readying a sternly worded letter of complaint to the appropriate authorities. Well, you see, all you have to do is look at the competition: Superman is roughly equivalent in terms of popularity, but his superpowers are so out-of-this world you can’t hope to connect with him; Spiderman, on the other hand, is such a soppy little drip you wouldn’t want to; Ironman almost has it all, but let’s face it, without Robert Downey Jr. you’re left with a tincan-clad prat with a pacemaker; Captain America looks ridiculous, and his go-to weapon is a shield, which is like admitting defeat before you even begin; and Thor’s weapon is a mallet, and he’s given the mallet a name. I suppose Blade’s quite cool, but there was that one point during the film trilogy when he began wearing snug-fitting red turtlenecks, plus he’s in jail for tax evasion – and neither turtlenecks, nor white collar crime rank particularly high in terms of badassery.

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ASSASSIN'S CREED: REVELATIONS – “So it occasionally catches fire but keeps perfect time?”

Despite being rather late to the party, I’ve really enjoyed the Assassin's Creed series to date, playing them all back-to-back at the beginning of last year. Sure, the first one was as repetitive as peeling potatoes and more of a tech demo than a game, but the story was unique and surprising and the core gameplay of exploring a city from the streets and rooftops and assassinating enemies of the creed was incredibly satisfying. So, having finally caught up with everyone else, it was with great disappointment that I discovered the latest entry in the series wasn't up to snuff.

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